A Single Man 2022.5.12

I watched A Single Man again tonight, one of my most favourite films, I guess I've found the idea to finish this passage.

George, a famous English professor, who lost his life-time soulmate--Jim, could no longer cope with life. "Just go through that goddamn day!" he said. 

I'll say that's a movie about time, from the moment George woke up, the soliloquy of time began. Waking up begins with saying am and now. But now isn’t simply now. Now is also a cold reminder; one whole day later than yesterday, one year later than last year. Every now is labelled with its date, rendering all past nows obsolete, until – later or sooner – perhaps – no, not perhaps – quite certainly: It will come.

Today is the inheritance of yesterday. I sometimes dread waking up, staring at the ceiling, feeling sick of repeating my yesterday life. So I'll try to be motivated. I hate that too now and then; isn't it a self-deception?

Tomorow is the assurance of today. What we are doing is for what we will do. We are manipulated firmly by what we want, or what we fear. Because we believe the desire can be commanded and the terror is able to be controlled and then be erased.

Therefore, all motivations of now can be explained by the past and future. It's easy to draw a conclusion that humans are a species struggling in unreality.  

 "Everyone keeps telling you that when you've gotten older, that you'll have all this experience "    "I think I've actually gotten sillier and sillier"