Donghao Jia

I watched A Single Man again tonight, one of my most favourite films, I guess I've found the idea to finish this passage. George, a famous English professor, who lost his life-time soulmate--Jim, could no longer cope with life.  " Just go through that goddamn day!" he said.  I'll say that's a movie about time, from the moment George woke up, the soliloquy of time began.  Waking up begins with saying am and now. But now isn’t simply now. Now is also a cold reminder; one whole day later than yesterday, one year later than last year. Every now is labelled with its date, rendering all past nows obsolete, until – later or sooner – perhaps – no, not perhaps – quite certainly: It will come. Today is the inheritance of yesterday.  I sometimes dread waking up, staring at the ceiling, feeling sick of repeating my yesterday life. So I'll try to be motivated. I hate that too now and then; isn't it a self-deception? Tomorow is the assurance of today.  What ...

When I was 17 years old, I usually sneaked out of the classroom to jog. The path toward the playground is surrounded by bushes glittering under the moonlight. As I walked through, the leaves left a caress on my fingers.  When I was jogging, I looked up at the sky. If there were stars, I'd count. Each star represented a sweet dream. And if there weren't, clouds could be the channel of my imagination. What humans do to neglect their present anxiety and depression is to extend their mind to the future.  Thus, there was no way to imagine my 20-year-old life contains any unhappiness.      Now two months after my 20th birthday, unfortunately, life doesn't give me much surprise. Maybe it does, but I'm just too greedy to figure it out. I'm used to being alone, like when I was 17. The weather is moisty today, bringing an exhilaration to banyan trees. What I acquainted wasn't a love story, but Nihilism, which bound me breathlessly. I read large amo...

    他踏着的一双泛白的牛津色拖鞋踽踽向阳台走去，每走一步，小腿肌肉向外鼓起，脚背上青筋绽出。一屁股坐在摇椅上，翘着二郎腿，椅子吱嘎吱嘎地前倾后仰。他仰起头，几绺开始花白的刘海被风向后刮拂着。望着黑沉沉的天空，无边无际的寂寞感天罗地网般将他笼罩。     他又回想起便利店的那个少年。       ...     少年长得十分白净，浓眉下的那双桃花眼，温柔迷离中夹杂着一丝火热，刘海很随意地从额头中间分岔开。这个男孩每次买东西总会有点神经兮兮地来搭话。     “这么晚还没有下班啊！”     “有绿豆味的雪糕欸！”      有一次他指着空荡荡的烤肠机，问还有没有烤肠卖。又有一天他一脸认真地走到我跟前“请问你们这招学生兼职吗？”...开便利店是枯燥的，一个学生能要多少钱？望着那双明亮妩媚的眼睛，我答应收下他，也知道了他的名字——林阳。      有了林阳的陪伴，便利店的日子少了几分枯燥。我喜欢盯着他纤细的背影，白嫩修长的手指往货架上运送一件又一件的商品。他的动作有着奇特的韵律，只有那双会拉提琴的双手才能做到吧。     多数时候，工作我一个人完成就可以了。林阳就捧着书在冰柜旁席地而坐，蜷着腿。林阳是外语学院的，攻读西语专业，他常常看一些我根本不懂的洋文书。我问他：“你为什么不去当家教赚钱，在我这里傻坐着干嘛？” 他抬起头，在橘黄的灯光下，脸上的几颗青春痘泛着光，粉嫩的嘴唇慢吞吞吐出几个字：“体验生活。”      每天最开心的时候是晚上收档以后。我回家，林阳回宿舍。那一段小径上，五月湿润的空气中弥漫着玉兰花的香味，草丛中传来绵绵不断的蛙鸣。脚步踏在散落一地的白色花瓣上，他常常闭着眼睛，仰起头，深深嗅着花香。路灯投射白色的光芒在他稚嫩的脸上，他的肌肤变得更雪白了。我突然涌起一股冲动，想用两片唇瓣含住他长长的睫毛。我希望能一直这样看着他。     林阳来上班的第三周的一天，他和我说他决定退学了，去巴黎重新念本科。我们的缘分到头了。        ...   ...